The Bench Jockeys

In what was hailed by some as “The Goons at the Dunes” – the grudge match-play event of this past spring – was Trischman versus Tuchmann, mano-a-mano.  Playing alongside this epic pairing, I was fortunate to witness this beat down duel on the links at Grand Dunes firsthand in Myrtle Beach, SC.  And let me just say, it was not pretty.

The Stakes:  As is standard practice in all legitimate non-monetary match-play formats that originate on the Zuckerman Tour, both combatants agreed that the losing player would purchase a high-end golf shirt for the victor at the conclusion of the battle on the links.

The Odds:  Harold “Butch” Trischman – being the more accomplished player – agreed to yield nine strokes to Alan Tuchman, strokes to be allocated via standard handicapping procedure in advance of play.  Those present at the negotiation urged Tuchmann to  seek additional shots, but being the proud competitor he is (and armed with a full arsenal of on-course technology and gizmos) Tuchmann deemed nine shots a fair and competitive handicap.  Whispers were heard throughout the gallery in preparation for this match: “He probably needs more than nine.” “Maybe Alan likes the pressure.” “It’s going to be a bloodbath.”  Ok,… yes, that last one was me.  I projected Butch to close out Alan on the 14^th hole, so I took some separate action on that book.

After an onslaught of early winners by Trischman, Tuchman finally stopped the bleeding at the 6^th hole.  Unfortunately, Tuchmann had taken on too much water and was on the verge of collapse when they players made the turn.  A late rally by Tuchmann at 12 and 13 only delayed the inevitable and by the 14^th hole, the match was over – 4 & 5.  Tuchmann, ever honorable in defeat, accompanied his adversary to the pro shop and awarded Butch Trischman the well-earned spoils of his conquest.  Although the shirt will serve as a nice commemorative for Trischman, the most savory aspect of Butch’s victory will be the thumping that was administered in 2013.  I am certain we have not heard the last of this, and just like Holyfield – Tyson II, a rematch is widely anticipated.  Butch, I suggest you wear some earmuffs.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 5th, 2013 at 09:49 and is filed under Chazerai. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.